I Am Blessed: My Journey Thus Far

 Thanksgiving is only a little over a week away, which means that this is the time of year where we think about what's really important to us. Thanksgiving is the one day that we take the time to contemplate everything that we've been blessed with, but I thought I'd start just a little early this year!
 Before anything else, I'd like to say that I am ridiculously blessed. This year I've seen God work in unbelievable ways in my life and it's been surreal. Even just looking back at what my life was like this time last year is different, I've experienced a paradigm shift. I know that I tend to ramble, so I'm just going to get right to my blessings! (These are in no particular order, I just wrote them as I thought of them.)

• My living situation - In case this is news for you, I'm a live-in nanny this year. It's been a wonderful experience and the best part is that I live there for free! They decided to open their home to me and I could not ask for a better place to live. Which leads me to my next point...
• My job(S) - Yes, multiple. I have three jobs this year and I love each and every one of them. Early this year I started working for Kiss My Southern Sass as the Mizzou campus representative and I love my KMSS family. I've been able build relationships with such strong, beautiful women (special shout-out to my big, Jordan and Jackie, for being awesome). It's a company that was founded and run by college students and it's been a wonderful experience. My second job (but my first priority) is nannying two children! I've learned so much about patience and patience and patience, but even though I have pretty early hours, I love every minute of it. Except for the bathroom stuff, that sucks. I started at Express about two (two and a half?) months ago and I'm loving it. But, I still can't believe that I've been blessed with these opportunities.
• My sorority - On Sunday, I was initiated into Sigma Phi Lambda (Sisters for the Lord)! If you haven't heard of it, it's a Christian sorority and it's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. Phi Lamb is filled with such beautiful, Godly women who impress  and encourage me every day with their passion for God. It has inspired me so much this last semester to pursue God in everything I do. Every single person that I've come in contact with in Phi Lamb has been such an inspiration and I could go on and on about it, because I like to talk, but I won't. Phi Lamb has been a game-changer for my life and my relationship with God. I can't imagine my life without Phi Lamb now, especially my sweet, beautiful big, Andrea! The rest of my pledge family is pretty rockin' too (for real).
• My relationship - My boyfriend's cool. I like him a lot. He loves God and makes me want to better my relationship with God. I'm pretty lucky. 
• My cat, Thomas - I never see him, but I put him on here because I'm really thankful for him and I love him. He's like 20 pounds, 9 years old and still kickin'. He's one of my favorite things, but someday he'll like me back. The fact that my parents still have him is a miracle because my Dad was allergic to cats and he isn't anymore. 
• My family - My parents because they love me even though I chose to be kind of far away from home and they pay for my gas! And they do things like drive down to Missouri just because my car wasn't working and they wanted me to have a way to get to class, they were here for less than 24 hours. True love. Also, Jamie's an awesome brother who's growing up a lot. Even though I'm not home to see it, I still love him and creep on his Facebook. All the time. 

When I see a list like this, I seriously wonder why I don't thank God all the time, because I should be. I have so much to be thankful for and I know that I take all of these things for granted. I'm challenging each of you to start celebrating Thanksgiving now and take a minute to look at everything that God has blessed you with, then THANK HIM FOR IT!

1 Thessalonians 5:18 

The Healthiest All-Nighter in the World

 It's midterms, so of course everyone is pulling all-nighters or just studying their butts of into the wee hours of the morning. Last year, if I wanted to stay up late I would typically eat a lot of crap and the next day crash harder than anything. While I love Coke and chocolate and coffee as much as the next girl, I hated feeling so sluggish the next day. I decided to be proactive, for once, and googled a bunch of things that would help me stay up and this is what I came up with:

- Apples have a lot of vitamins and minerals in them, also lots of antioxidants, which help make energy!

- Red peppers have vitamin A and vitamin C, also antioxidants. I didn't take a picture of the hummus that I had, but that's another healthy-energy boosting snack!

- Also not in this picture is my organic dark chocolate. Basically, the dark chocolate was there to satisfy my cravings for sweeter snacks. Stuff like candy bars tend to contain refined starches, which depletes vitamin B. Also, the higher percentage of cocoa in your chocolate, the higher percentage of antioxidants in the chocolate.
- The iced lemon water is there to keep me hydrated and is known to boost energy. Lemon has extra enzymes and vitamins in it that will keep you awake.

- Popcorn is there for fiber and it makes you feel fuller, not necessarily awake. I love the taste of the butter, so this is 94% fat free butter on my popcorn. 

- Peanut butter is there because it's delicious!

Anyways, I was still pretty energetic when I started eating this and studying, but I think it works better when you have a significant amount of energy. Either way, the next day I didn't feel terrible. I ate pretty healthy the next day as well and while I did feel like I had a lower energy level than normal, I didn't feel like I was dying! Just keep this in mind this week and I'll definitely be trying this again around finals.

Good luck on midterms! 

Ear Candy: I Choose You

I've been listening to a ridiculous amount of Sara Bareilles lately because her voice makes my heart smile. I've been listening to her when I get ready in the morning, nothing makes a morning a good morning like happy, getting-ready music.  Recently one of her songs really caught my ear and my heart. Most of Sara Bareilles' songs are light, happy love songs, but one song in particular could be used to illustrate the joyful relationship that we should have with God.

What really caught my eye was the statement that her words were "the very first words of a lifelong love letter". Personally, the only love letter that I've received is the Bible and every time I spend just a little bit of time reading it, I rediscover just how much God loves me. Part of the reason God gave us the Bible is so we could read His expressions of love over and over again. The second verse goes on to say that many people told her "you would not come true, just love's illusion" and Bareilles follows it with "you found me and everything changed and I believe in something again."Many people experience a feeling like that when they find God. I experience it each time I admit my faults, sins, and imperfections and run back to God.

The part of the song that hits me the hardest is her admission of her imperfections and how she learns from her mistakes. She says that she wants to prove her love, no matter how long it takes. God doesn't ask us to prove anything to him, but acting in love towards others, worshipping Him, and obedience to His word shows our dedication to the pursuit of God's heart.

Thought Series: Miss AMERICAN

 Miss America 2014 is of Indian descent. By now everyone knows about the "controversy" of her race and know about the criticism she's faced because of her race. People have said that other contestants should've won, blah, blah, blah. It's a huge thing, just because she's of Indian descent. Indian. She's not Iraqi, not Pakistani, not Afghani, she's Indian. First, let me just say she's actually been called "Miss Al Qaeda" by people on Twitter, which is stupid because India isn't even an Islamic country for the most part. 80% of India practices Hinduism, which is besides the point because Nina Dalvuluri is from New York. Miss Dalvuluri is the perfect choice for Miss America for many reasons, let's name a few:

• She's Indian-American and representing one of the most diverse states in the union. 
• She's smart; she went to the University of Michigan, was on the Dean's List, received the Michigan Merit Award, and graduated with a degree in Brain Behavior and Cognitive Science. She's much smarter than the average girl
• She's the second Miss Syracuse to win Miss America since Vanessa Williams (not why she should win, but it's interesting).
• She struggled with bulimia, which is sadly, very common in young girls today. She beat her eating disorder, but to this day hates the word "skinny".
• Her platform is diversity, she's all about breaking down barriers.

 At this point, it's not even the fact that she isn't white that's making people dislike her. If it would've been a Hispanic, Asian, or African-American girl people wouldn't be making the ignorant argument that Miss Dalvuluri isn't American. But brush her Indian roots aside and her story is as American as it gets. A smart girl who struggled with her weight and her body image got a makeover, graduated from college and is now considered one of the most beautiful, accomplished women in our country. Literally, Princess Diaries, except she was overweight instead of having frizzy hair and glasses. So, I would say that our new Miss America is extremely American.

Thought Series: Loneliness

 We all get a little lonely sometimes. It's natural, it's human, and we shouldn't let it get us down because then it turns into something bigger, self-pity. We feel lonely for many reasons, maybe it's been a while since you've talked to your friends from home or maybe you just started college and you're feeling a little unsure of yourself. Loneliness isn't necessarily a bad thing but, our world today can seem like a big popularity contest, due to our addiction to social media. So, if you're feeling lonely, that's ok; sometimes it can give you a couple minutes of "you time" or even some introspection. But, if we all went a little bit out of our way, we might be able to fix loneliness. Make an effort to make someone else less lonely this week. Call someone you normally wouldn't, take some time out of your day to grab a coffee with a friend after class, mail a letter to your best friend in another state. Give someone some "face time" and hang out with them completely unplugged, give them your undivided attention.  You have to give a little if you expect to get anything back.

This is the New Year: Part 1

 The life of a college student is always exciting. Whether it’s going into your sophomore year and seeing your friends again, being a freshman and knowing where nothing, literally nothing, is or being a senior and an old pro, it’s exciting. Being college students, we tend to treat the beginning of the school year like it’s New Year’s Eve. We make resolutions. If I had a dollar for every single girl that said she’s going to work out this year, I could probably pay my tuition until I graduate and maybe for grad school too. Not many people go into a new school year without wanting to better themselves in some way, but for those of you who do: you’re lucky and should probably stop reading unless you want to be bored.

   Honestly, there are a million things that I want to improve about myself this year, but that would be too exhausting and I’m going to take it one song at a time. I have my goals divided in half because second semester exists. I find that it’s easier to achieve my goals if I divide my long-term ones into lots of short-term goals. That makes it seem like I’m making more progress and I give myself more small rewards along the way (MORE CANDY). If you’re still reading this, I’m going to assume that you’re a little curious about my goals and they are:
 

·      Surround myself only with people who will be a positive impact on my life.

·      Eat much healthier than last year (no more midnight cookies or Subway).

·      Study more, even if I hate it. Hard work will pay off with good grades, happy parents, and        a happier me.

·      Gossiping = bad. Don’t do it.

·      See my commitments through, no matter what.

·      Involve myself in more things that interest me.

·      Develop deep relationships with more of my friends. Remember, quantity not quality.

·      Go to sleep earlier so I can wake up earlier, because I’m a nanny and I don’t want to look        like a hobo when I go to class.

I know that this won’t be very easy. It’s the second week of school and I’m already sliding back into some old, bad habits (oops), the difference is that this year I’ve been catching them! Not only am I catching myself when I’m reverting back to my bad habits, but I realize when I’m making myself practice my new habits, which tells me I’m improving. Of course, this year will be a journey, like always.  Luckily, I’m always up for an adventure!

The Lord is TESTING Me.

 To be completely honest, the are 7 million things that I should be doing other than writing this post right now, but it's really important, I promise. I haven't written anything since July because I wasn't inspired. July was an extremely rough month for me because I'd recently let God take control over my life and it hasn't been easy.

 

 The amount of things that were thrown at me were ridiculous. Housing plans for the next school year were changed, I found myself in need of a different job due to scheduling conflicts at the job I had, I hated that job too. I was juggling the stress of so many different things that I had one week where I gave up. I had been applying to different places, looking for housing for the next semester, asking God to please show me a way out because it was a struggle. I had about three weeks of uncertainty and it was agonizing. Not knowing anything about my life for the next (at least) three months was unbearable. I spent one afternoon sobbing on my living room couch because I honestly, didn't know what to do. Three hours crying on the couch, it wasn't pretty.
  While I was gracefully curled into the fetal position, crying like a little girl, I was clutching my Bible and praying that God would show me something, anything to give me some hope that it was going to be ok. Of course, God is good. He delivers and comforts us with His love. I opened my Bible and my eyes immediately fell to Job 36:15 which says "But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; He speaks to them in their affliction."
  I'm hoping that some of you aren't familiar with the story of Job, but if you are you can tune out of this paragraph if you want. The book of Job is found in the Old Testament and the story begins with Satan roaming around earth, then approaching God and challenging the Job's faith in God. Job lived a charmed life, he was wealthy, successful, healthy, had many friends, a large family, which led Satan to believe that Job lived a holy life because of God's gifts to him and would curse God if those things were taken from him. God allows Satan to test wreak havoc in Job's life. Satan took away everything that Job had. His family and friends urged him to curse God, because being afflicted with disease and poverty that suddenly meant that a person had sinned in those days. Everyone in Job's life assumed that he'd strayed from his righteous way of life. In the end, God rewarded Job with twice the amount of everything that Job had before his trials because of his trust in God.
  Reading that verse gave me a renewed hope and trust in God. Through the difficulties that I've faced this summer, I've realized that being an adult is hard. Most of the people around me are in the same boat, we feel like we've grown up too fast and now we're in this impossible world of college, work, paying rent, and responsibilities that we've never had before. It's scary, but I know that God is the only reason that I've been able to stay sane throughout this whole process.
  Everyone knows how easy it is to let yourself worry and stress about every little thing. It's exhausting and overwhelming and sometimes, we just need a break from everything. After having a month with several stress factors, God blessed me with a sense of security, a job and a place to live. So as I sit here, one week after those amazing blessings, with three finals this week, needing to finish rearranging two songs by tomorrow, and a wallet that's been missing for four days with everything in it, I am putting my problems, worry, and stress in God's hands. I'm relearning to trust Him to provide as he has time and time again.

Phillippians 4:6

Thought Series: Rewind

 I just reread my first blog post and I wrote it three months ago. I think that I had just hit my lowest point in life and to me that was rock bottom. A lot of people might not think that not-so-steller grades, being homesick, and your friends seeming a little distant isn't a big deal, but to me it was. Now that I'm looking back at it, I see that my life is improving in every aspect. I can see God turning my life around and working in it every day. Today I'm realizing that just because my life is turning around doesn't mean that I don't have a choice in the change.  I ask God for things and expect them to be handed to me on a silver platter but I can't do that, it's simply not enough. Jesus is my Savior, not my fairy godmother. He's not going to be like "Oh, you asked for motivation today? Here's some motivation with a side of grace on a silver platter." God gives me choices to take what He's offering. The choices can be as simple as choosing to do homework instead of watching an episode of Desperate Housewives. I need to realize that each decision I make is an opportunity to do what God wants and glorify Him in every thing I do. So, I'm going to make the decision to not only step up and do what's right, but I'm handing it over to God again and again.

My Cat

I said that I loved my cat. So here's a picture of my cat and I. His name is Thomas and he just turned nine this spring. He doesn't really like me but I love him so much and he's really fat.

What a gem.

A Virtuous Woman: Money, Money, Money

  In March, I wrote a post about the Proverbs 31 woman and I said I would write more specifically about each virtue that the Proverbs 31 woman should possess. Also, if you haven't read Proverbs 31, google it now and read it. Even if you aren't a Christian, if you don't believe in God, or don't even believe in the Bible, it's good insight. Why wouldn't you want to live your life in a way that can only bring balance, peace, and blessing to your life? For those of you that are familiar with Proverbs 31, this section has been one of the most difficult for me to grasp.
 Proverbs 31:16-19 is about money. Money is important to everyone. Not one person can say that they go a day without thinking about money. Whether you're thinking about things that you want to buy, wishing you had more money, or how you're going to spend your money, money is always on our minds. It's one of those things that's accidentally instilled into us from when we're pretty little. But relax, it's not completely your own fault. We live in an extremely materialistic, money-centered culture. Why do you think that our country's workforce has the lowest amount of vacation of all of the first world countries? We want money, we want things, because money equals status.
 The Proverbs 31 woman is resourceful. Verse 16 talks about her planting a vineyard. The Proverbs 31 woman knows her stuff. She's a legit businesswoman, she's planting a vineyard. Vineyards always have been profitable so basically, she realizes that it's not only the husband's responsibility to provide for the household. As most of the people I know (and little old me) are not married yet, this verse challenges us ladies to step up. Lots of girls joke about becoming a trophy wife or getting married right away so our dads can stop taking care of us and our husbands can start paying the bills. 95% of us are half-kidding when we say that, but being a college student has made me understand why anyone would consider that. Unfortunately, that is not the way we are called to live our lives. We are called to be financially savvy and help our husbands out, even though he is to be our provider. Investing and reinvesting our resources, whatever they may be.
 Verse 17 describes the strength of the Proverbs 31 woman, due to her work. In this aspect, God didn't mean for us to be weak beings. God made women strong, resilient, and determined. If you don't believe me, think about the last time you asked your parents to buy you a pair of shoes or something that you couldn't afford. Those shoes are in your closet now, aren't they? We can be convincing, cunning beings  and God is asking us to use the skills that He gave us for hard work.  Not necessarily manual, back-breaking labor, but to each her own.
 In verse 18, Solomon (the writer) discusses my least favorite part of this passage. Solomon says that her candle does not go out by night, which in modern day English translates to: she works pretty dang hard during the day and that doesn't stop just because the sun goes down; and by the way she also gets up early too. I love my sleep. One of the only things that I love more than getting a good night's sleep is my cat. And I love my cat. But in all reality, this verse just means that she takes good care of her household. The Proverbs 31 woman appreciates her household and family, she also works hard to keep them. So every girl that's looking forward to her diamond diploma and is just ready to be a wife, awesome (I know that some of you follow that Twitter account, don't deny it. It's the best). This part will be easy for you.
 This passage has been opened my eyes to my financial responsibility to myself and to God. Really this verse is just asking the women of the world to be financially wise, responsible, hard-working women. It's not an outrageous request, it's good for you. Why wouldn't you want to be someone with a good work ethic? All of these traits that God is requesting us to develop are admirable, however hard it might be. I know, because I want to buy EVERYTHING. Clearly, that's not the responsible thing to do. I actually started this weird habit of shopping online, adding everything I want to the cart and then clearing it out because the total's always like $700 and I'm poor. There are better alternatives but, I believe that my method has worked out pretty great so far because I haven't done anything except pay my sorority dues and buy gas. Anyways, just think about it. Take a few minutes to read Proverbs 31 today!

 Proverbs 31:16-19

Of Praise and Progress

Praising God is an act of worship that He created us to do. Praising God isn't just singing a song about Him. It can be as simple as an act of kindness towards another person. Praise can be the way you live your life, the way you act and react towards others, the grace that you show to those that you don't particularly like, your thoughts, actions, anything. One of the most important acts of praise is prayer and God has been teaching me the importance of prayer daily. Recently, I have been praying about some very prominent, difficult decisions that I have to make in my life and nothing has been more important than making sure I am praising God while seeking his guidance.
 At first, it started out by recognizing thoughts that I was having that were less than glorifying to God. I didn't see anything wrong with thinking something hateful or judgmental towards someone because of the environment that I am in. When I started to change my thought process, God started to open my eyes to certain things in my life that I didn't want to admit were wrong. Some of the music I had been listening to had not been encouraging me but tearing me down so I replaced it with something positive. Certain choices that I had made, that I was so convinced were right, were proven to be wrong. I wasn't praising God, I was praising myself. I was doing what I wanted, not what He had called me to do. God was beginning to push me forwards, which was opposite of the negative pulls that I had been feeling lately, all because I began to praise Him again.
 After months of prayer, assurance from God and some significant changes in my life, I have seen progress. I have faced problems that are very common to college students but I have learned that the larger my problem is, the more discouraging and difficult my circumstances, the greater my crisis, the more important it is to praise God. God's promise of love, power, grace, wisdom, mercy, might and the promise that He will fight for us is certain. I've learned that there isn't a better way to show my obedience and faith in God than to praise Him and thank Him for all that He has done. Even if my whole world seems like it's falling apart. God is there. He will never give me anything that I can't handle because He loves me and He will honor my praise. To God be the glory.

Psalm 136

Mother Theresa's Daily Prayer

Dear Jesus, help me to spread your fragrance everywhere I go. Flood my soul with Your spirit and life. PENETRATE me and possess my whole being so utterly that all my life may only be a RADIANCE of Yours. SHINE through me and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with may feel Your presence in my soul. Let them look up and see no longer me but only YOU, O Lord. Let me preach You without PREACHING, not by words but by my example by catching the FORCE, the sympathetic influence of what I do, the evident fullness of the love my heart bears to You. Amen
 - Mother Theresa

Thought Series: Psychology

 I've been studying for my psychology test and found out that women are more likely to conform than men are. That made my heart break a little, but I realized that I struggle with this every day. It's not hard, it's so easy. Just one little word or action will make me blend into the crowd. It's easier to blend in than stand out, but we shouldn't want to blend in.  So, this one applies to everyone but it's mostly for the ladies today: do not conform to this world, no matter how tempting or easy it is.

"Do not conform to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- His good, pleasing, and perfect will." Romans 12:2

Ear Candy: Next to Me

     This song isn't necessarily "life-changing", but I love it and I hear it everywhere I go.

 Emeli Sandé's 'Next to Me' shows us an amazing example of one of God's greatest gift to us: the presence of a true friend. Having someone like that in our life will make it complete because with someone like that, there is nothing that we can't face. That person will be with us no matter what we go through, good times or bad. She's talking about unconditional love. Clearly, this whole song is referring to Emeli Sandé's 'other half', but that person could be a friend, parents, or even a sibling. Obviously, it would be amazing if we could have that kind of relationship with everyone we meet. It would be even more astounding if that was the person that you got to spend the rest of your life with.  It doesn't matter who they are in your life, that person will always be true to you. That will be the person that your heart turns to.
 To me, this song is about how lucky she is and how much she admires this man. The only time that she isn't describing this man is when she's shouting from the mountain tops that he will always be with her. The first verse tells us that he's faithful, always a plus in a guy. She goes on to say that he's not the type of guy who's going to go out with the guys and gamble all his money away through the night. Clearly, he's already a keeper. Second verse: he isn't greedy and people's bad habits don't rub off on him. Verse three: his love is pure and true. How many people can say that? She knows that he will always love her and it's not for her money because she says that he'd stay with her even without her money. Verse four talks about how he's there to relieve her stress. When the pressure's on, he'll be the one who is there and helping her through it. If that isn't enough, she tells us that when no one else is there, he will be.

 The love that she talks about in this song is unconditional. I know that God already loves me like that and a thousand times more. If I could find a friend like that or even just be that person for someone, I know without a doubt that it would revolutionize the way I live my life. Think about it.

A Virtuous Woman: Faith

 For the past eight months I have strived to be someone that my parents, especially my mom, can be proud of. My parents worked hard to make sure that their kid wasn't completely messed up and that has got to be hard. My mom has always stressed the importance of being a Godly woman, strong in the Lord. I have to admit, at a public university that's 500 miles away from the people who were watching me, it's a struggle. It's a struggle every single day to make choices that my parents would be proud of. Let's be honest, no one in college is perfect. No one makes the right choice 100% of the time. So I no longer think "Would my parents be proud of me?" but I now think "Would God be proud of me?". Some of you might think that it's a little extreme, but I am striving to be a virtuous woman, a Proverbs 31 woman.
 If you haven't read Proverbs 31, I highly suggest that you read it. It might be a little off-putting because I know that in my Bible it says "A Wife of Noble Character" above the passage and a lot of people aren't necessarily worried about or even considering marriage at this point in their life. Ignore that. I use this passage to encourage myself to serve God in every aspect of my life. This passage reminds me to live a life with purpose, forgiveness, diligence, and repentance. It touches on the the areas of faith, marriage, mothering, health, service, finances, work, time, home-making, and beauty. While marriage, mothering, and home-making clearly don't currently apply to me, I choose to use those as guides for the future but mainly focus on the other parts.
 Today I read Proverbs 31 and this really stuck out to me: "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." So, I just sat for a good three hours thinking ( ok, Facebook, Twitter, and shopping too) and I realized that I need to seek God's will and follow His ways. This means that I need to seek God's will about all things and not to stress. Stress and anxiety are prominent in the life of a college student, especially now since finals are coming up. But starting today, I am redefining my life. I am taking this passage and applying it to every area. It will be a struggle, but I'm going to take ten weeks and meditate on this passage, focusing on one of the ten areas each week. I'm praying that God will bless me from the inside to the outside. I am expecting will change my perspective and actions to continuously serve Him and become the Proverbs 31 Woman that I aspire to be.

Prayer of Contentment

I wish I had written this, but I found this when I was killing time today. It's a C.S. Lewis quote and I am going to make this a daily prayer:

    "I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of; for to have been born in God's thought,  and then made by God is the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing in all thinking.

This is a prayer of contentment."

Just think about that for a couple minutes.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

The One

We all dream about "The One". If you say that you don't, you're lying. Everyone wants that someone who will love them no matter what. It is so hard to wait but I know my husband is out there, the man God has chosen for me. I know that everything with fall into place perfectly. His proposal will be perfect, I'll know that he loves me with all of his heart. I dream about our life together daily. On our wedding day, he’ll shed quite a few tears when he sees me walking down the aisle. I imagine him being a lot taller than me and carrying me down the aisle after our “I Do’s."

I’m going to guess and say he’ll wake up at the crack of dawn. I can’t wait to wake up to him kissing my forehead every morning… I can imagine him trying to cuddle before crawling out of bed, even though he knows I’m not a morning person. I can picture him getting up and getting ready for work. I’ll be laying in bed annoyed that he leaves the water running when he brushes his teeth. I’ll finally get out of bed but only because I absolutely have to. I’ll walk into the kitchen looking like death warmed over and he’ll say “Good morning, beautiful.” I can see myself whipping up something quick for his breakfast. And before he leaves for work we’ll kiss about 20 times before he finally walks out the door.

I know that he will be the best dad. Our daughter will be daddy's little princess and our son will be just like him. I can already imagine our family playing in the backyard. He’ll be throwing all the kids in the pool and they’ll all be splashing me to jump in too, but Mommy only does that occasionally. I can see our house becoming the neighborhood hang out spot. During football season we’ll have BBQ’s every Sunday, because he’ll be the master of the grill.

I know we’ll crank up old 90′s hits in the car and scream the words at the top of our lungs. There won’t be a single time when we’re out in public and he won’t hold my hand. He’ll always remember to open doors for me. I know we’ll have more silly selfie photos than serious ones. Our fights won’t last long because he hates seeing me cry and I cry at everything. He’ll always pick which restaurant to eat at, because I’m too indecisive. He’ll watch A Walk to Remember with me whenever I want, even though he’s sick of it.

I know he’ll be a Godly man. He’ll love the Lord with all that he is. I imagine us praying before every meal. I’ll make him lead the prayer 8 out of 10 times. We’ll be avid members in our church and attend as many functions as possible. I can picture us attending a home Bible study together or leading one ourselves. I know he’ll love me as Christ loved the church and will honor me as the weaker vessel.

We will be the couple that everyone is jealous of. I know he’ll remind me every day just how beautiful I am and just how much he loves me… He’ll be my best friend. I can dream all day of how I want my marriage to be, but I know our life will be better than I could have ever imagined. I pray for this man every morning and I pray that he’s praying for me too. I know the one is out there and that is such a blessing.

Ear Candy: Bombs Away

I promise that I'll get back to my relatable posts soon, but this is my blog. I do what I want. 

 If you've never heard of Rachael Lampa, she is one of the most talented singers that I have ever heard. She lead me to this gem, which is now one of my favorite songs. I definitely recommend listening to it, but what you really need to check out is the music video. I know that it's a little long, but let's be honest.. you probably weren't going to spend the next six minutes doing anything particularly important. Personally, I believe that this video can be life-changing. It changes your perspective.

 The reason that I love this video is because it portrays God's forgiveness. This song is actually about original sin and is very representational.** I like to apply this to my life and the mistakes that I make every, single day. It reminds me that no matter what I do God will ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS forgive me. And I've done some pretty messed up stuff. It honestly blows my mind because sin is part of human nature. Even though we choose sin, God forgives us out of His unconditional love for us.
 I listen to this song when I'm struggling with temptation, feeling defeated, or when I feel like I need to be reminded of God's everlasting, all-powerful, unconditional love. It reminds me that I can live a life of victory, a life full of joy; I do not have to live in defeat because my bounty has been paid in full.

Ear Candy: What Can I Do

Lately, I've been rediscovering some old favorites. If you remember the song Safe & Sound by The Civil Wars, have you ever heard of Joy Williams? She was a part of The Civil Wars writing team and is an amazing songwriter. Her music is upbeat, calming, and puts me in a good mood, no matter what I was feeling before. Here are her lyrics to one of my favorite songs:

 

Listen here!

There you were and there I was
Was it fate from above?
Either way I found just what I need

All I do is think of you
Close my eyes and fall into
a world totally made for you and me

Oh don't you know, I love, love ya
I'll never let go, oh, i love ya
In all of my dreams, you're all I see
What can I do, but love you

Now I got someone to hold
To keep me warm while I was cold
A little scent to melt away the gray

It happened in the nick of time
Unexpected, sweet surprise
With one whose love will never be the same

Oh don't you know, I love, love ya
I'll never let go, oh, I love ya
In all of my dreams, you're all I see
What can I do, but love you

Oh don't you know, I love, love ya
I'll never let go, oh, I love ya
In all of my dreams, you're all I see
What can I do, but love you
Love you
I love you

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

 I'd just like to take this opportunity to say that you should really look at what/who you're investing your time in. Are you willing to make time for the important people in your life? Even more importantly, are they willing to make time for you?
 Before I even started college I was told to invest myself in a few things because I'd want to involve myself in everything and eventually stretch myself beyond my limits and I'd be unhappy. Everyone emphasizes the importance of the organizations you join, but what about your friends? Your friends are important. They always say that you meet your bridesmaids in college, those are the girls that you know will stick by you, no matter what they're going through or what you're going through. I want a friend who is willing to be there for me no matter what.
  Finding your lifelong friends is sometimes like finding your prince, you'll find quite a few toads before you find the real thing. Do your friends encourage daily no matter what you do? Would you trust that your friends would tell you that you're doing something stupid even if you don't want to hear it? Will your friends spend time with you in any way possible, if it's just studying silently together? Will your friends try and protect you from anything? If you can't answer yes to these questions about your best friends, I would recommend getting new ones. People that you would identify as 'friends' are about as ordinary as a $1 bill. 'Best friends' are as extraordinary as a $1 million check that Oprah made out to you personally. Start looking for a friend who inspires and challenges you to be better in every aspect of your life, a friend who will help you work through your toughest trials and will love you to the moon and back, because that will be your truest friend.

Proverbs 18:24 "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

Hand It Over

 Honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing.  I'm not just talking about this, I'm referring to all areas of my life. It's 1 AM and I have to be up at 6 tomorrow to work out, just to make sure that I actually go work out. There are people screaming in the hall across the room because it's someone's birthday and I can't sleep, but this may or may not have led to making some life changes.
 Until right now, I had lost almost all motivation to do anything. I don't know if I was experiencing homesickness or a brief period of depression, but I just never wanted to do anything or leave my bed. Since moving to Missouri, so many things have happened and I'm learning what it means to grow up. Between meeting some of the most amazing people in the world, moving away from everything I've ever known and trying to figure myself out, there have been so many questions. I'm learning about myself, what kind of person God wants me to be, and who I should be surrounding myself with.
 This past month in particular has been full of personal failures and disappointments. I was wait-listed to live in my sorority house, I haven't been able to get a job, my grades are not what I want them to be, my good friends seem to be drifting and I don't know why, I am not happy. I was feeling so alone and I was letting the tiniest things affect me in the biggest ways.
 I took a couple steps back this past week to reconsider decisions that I've made regarding my involvement and commitments at Mizzou. I haven't been doing anything truly life-changing or fulfilling which has left me feeling like I'm stranded on an island. There are so many things that have brought me to tears that I can tell that I need a spiritual tune-up. I opened my Bible ten minutes ago to this: "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs and don't forget to thank Him for His answers. If you do this you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6,7). I need to remember not to let anything get to me. God will give me peace, no matter what I'm experiencing. He will give me answers to my questions and fears, all I have to do is ask for them. 
 This week is going to be a spiritual detox for me, a way to get back to where I know I should be. The moment that I completely hand things over to God is the moment that my life will change for the better. I just have to remember that my dark times are a part of God's plan for my life Starting now, it's all His.